I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We left an ass print on the piano.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.