im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.