return my video game
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.