dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...