well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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