Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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