Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
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He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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