How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
