Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
