Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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