The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
