I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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