i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
