It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
