he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
