I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
