I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
This is the high leading the old right now
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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