I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
