is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
