Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
there was a trapeze. enough said
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
