Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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