I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So much rum. So many feels.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
