can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
