She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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