Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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