"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
