So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I need to calm my uterus...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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