plz talk dirty to me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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