I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
