Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
