I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
