he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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