ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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