I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
