definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
