this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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