Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
