remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
