You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
