This girl is more easily done than said...
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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