and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
