so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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