All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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