So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
