Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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