Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
