also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
this is an emotional support booty call
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
