Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
