High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
