Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it

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(713): My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it http://tfl.nu/zhky

Replies (109) Good night (1162) Bad night (4849)
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(949): View more from California

if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous

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(949): if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous http://tfl.nu/ia7j

Replies (28) Good night (9181) Bad night (1221)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

So my game is weak??

(501): View more from Arkansas

If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.

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(318): So my game is weak?? (501): If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes. http://tfl.nu/3tou

Replies (10) Good night (1186) Bad night (3650)
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(801): View more from Utah

he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.

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(801): he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages. http://tfl.nu/yro9

Replies (8) Good night (3551) Bad night (917)
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(757): View more from Virginia

so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?

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(757): so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you? http://tfl.nu/s3jk

Replies (7) Good night (3032) Bad night (975)
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(316): View more from Kansas

I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before

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(316): I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before http://tfl.nu/ozt9

Replies (24) Good night (669) Bad night (1937)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them

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(613): Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them http://tfl.nu/25vp

Replies (1) Good night (921) Bad night (394)
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(678): View more from Georgia

He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.

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(678): He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever. http://tfl.nu/2bus

Replies (3) Good night (781) Bad night (392)
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(571): View more from Virginia

He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.

(818): View more from California

He could of at least asked

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(571): He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude. (818): He could of at least asked http://tfl.nu/04jo

Replies (4) Good night (582) Bad night (449)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"

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(304): Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home" http://tfl.nu/2t6k

Replies (3) Good night (909) Bad night (351)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.

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(978): He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway. http://tfl.nu/9qaw

Replies (2) Good night (649) Bad night (375)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'

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(615): Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid' http://tfl.nu/cmth

Replies (6) Good night (693) Bad night (534)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?

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(973): Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar? http://tfl.nu/k32t

Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (298)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight

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(973): He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight http://tfl.nu/sjnp

Replies (1) Good night (582) Bad night (392)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.

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(856): Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me. http://tfl.nu/z4xw

Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (288)

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