I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
