Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning