I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?