hey, what are you doing tonight?
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
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Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
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She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?