My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
