have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.