when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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