We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
