hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I wish my penis had an off switch
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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