I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
