we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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