Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My vagina is officially offended.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
