You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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