I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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