Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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