Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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