Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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